A divorced man says he pays alimony to an ex-wife who works full time, then a court ruled she was owed part of his business’s growth

A man who went through a divorce claims he “had to pay alimony even though she worked full time.” According to the Daily Dot, he shared the claim in a Reddit discussion on r/AskMen, where the original poster wanted to know why some men chose to skip marriage. Other commenters cited their own reasons, from a divorce still in progress to doubts about prenuptial agreements. One wrote, “I’ve never seen a marriage I envied.”

The commenter stated that he also had to give his former wife “half of my retirement account that accumulated during the marriage,” adding that nothing in it predated the union. He claims she received half of everything built during that time even though “she didn’t contribute to any of it.” He pointed to his business as the prime example of how that played out.

He explained that he started the company before they met and that “she never stepped foot in the office.” He recalled the judge ruling that “she was entitled to half of the increased value during the marriage.” He stated, “I had to pay her a lump sum in order to keep my business.” Dating since then, he noted, has been different because “breaking up doesn’t cost any of that.” He ended with, “Never again.”

Alimony and property rules vary by state

Alimony, also called spousal support or maintenance, is set by state law, and the rules differ from state to state. Federal tax rules apply on top of them. IRS guidance states that a payer cannot deduct alimony paid under an agreement executed after 2018, and the recipient does not count it as income. Payments under older agreements remain deductible by the payer and taxable to the recipient.

California Family Code 4320 directs courts to weigh several circumstances when ordering spousal support. They include each spouse’s earning capacity, the paying spouse’s ability to pay and the length of the marriage. The statute also lists the goal that the supported spouse become self-supporting within a reasonable time. Texas Family Code 8.051 allows court-ordered maintenance only when a spouse lacks enough property to cover minimum reasonable needs.

The spouse must also meet another condition, such as a disability or a marriage of 10 years or longer combined with an inability to earn sufficient income. Property is divided under separate rules. California Family Code 2550 requires courts to divide the community estate equally unless the spouses agree otherwise. Texas Family Code 7.001 calls for a division the court considers “just and right.”

New York Domestic Relations Law 236 provides that marital property “shall be distributed equitably.” Appreciation of separate property generally stays separate, except to the extent it is due in part to the other spouse’s contributions or efforts. The law also sets a guideline maintenance formula based on both spouses’ incomes, which courts can depart from when the result is unjust or inappropriate.

Questions about marriage and former spouses draw attention outside Reddit as well, as when Ilhan Omar responded to marriage claims during an interview.