Two Point Hospital, regarded as the spiritual successor to Theme Hospital, does an excellent job of capturing the charm and appeal of the beloved 1997 simulation game. Which adds up. Two Point Studios was founded by “some of the best developers” from Muckyfoot, Lionhead, and Bullfrog Productions, the latter of whom created Theme Hospital.
While improving on the original quirky hospital simulation’s formula, Two Point Hospital features much of the same design. Whether you’re starting your very first hospital or you’re a seasoned doctor who isn’t phased by the game’s dry morbidity, there’s something for everyone. Here are our top tips for running a successful hospital in Two Point Hospital!
Don’t neglect your patients’ non-medical needs
You’re going to want to keep your patients as satisfied as possible, regardless of debilitating illnesses. Maintaining a positive reputation is good for business, attracting more patients, and better staff. If your patients feel neglected, they’re going to leave unhappy—and likely still sick. Therefore, in addition to (hopefully) curing them, you’ll want to keep your patients from becoming bored, hungry, thirsty, uncomfortable, and unhappy. Here’s what you’ll want to do:
Place chairs and benches
Not everyone’s interested in sitting, and many are satisfied standing in lines. For those that do prefer a place to rest, be sure you’re providing an adequate place for them to plant their bottoms. Keep an eye on how long lines gets. You might need to build a new room of the same type to help clear the queue.
Radiators, radiators, radiators
If you’ve ever played Theme Hospital, you’ll likely recall how important it was to place as many radiators as needed to keep the hospital at a comfortable temperature. Your patients are already sick, don’t let them also be uncomfortably cold (or overheated). If you’ve got the resources and research rooms, you can also place servers to help heat things up.
Please, don’t forget about toilets
Another self-explanatory need. Ensure that you’re providing an adequate number of toilets, as well as wash basins, to keep your patients hygienic and happy. Hand dryers are, unfortunately, not a great use of space, so you can skimp on those. You can also place hand sanitizers throughout your hospital. If you’re feeling super-fancy, you can sign up to Hospital Pass on the Two Point Hospital website to unlock the illustrious golden toilet. People always talk about wanting one of those.
Snacks on snacks on snacks
If your patients are hanging around the hospital for a while, they’re going to get hungry. Make sure to scatter a handful of vending machines for snacks and drinks throughout your hospital. Oh, and don’t forget trash cans—nobody wants to wade through empty pop cans and candy bar wrappers. Your janitors will thank you.
Don’t neglect your staff, either
You’re not going to save any lives with miserable staff. Your hospital’s staff have similar needs as the patients, so some strategies overlap. You can view all of your staff’s happiness at a glance in the Staff List. There are a few necessities that will help keep your doctors, nurses, and other staff happy, healthy, and up to saving lives:
Construct a staff room
If you want to ensure your staff are performing their jobs at 100%—which, yeah, you should—you’ll want to keep an eye on their satisfaction. Be sure to build a break room for your staff to give them a place to unwind and replenish their energy and happiness.
Place coffee machines for that extra boost
Give your staff the extra energy they need to stay focused on their busy day by placing a coffee machine in their office. This will cause your staff to become “energized,” increasing their performance, and that satisfying caffeine rush will cause them to move around the hospital faster.
Give your staff raises and promotions
Because who doesn’t love money and power? Ensure your staff are compensated appropriately for their skills and performance in your hospital. Well-paid staff are happy staff, and as your staff earns promotions, they’ll learn new skills and generally be more valuable assets.
Stay on top of research
If you want to attract the better sick people (wait, that came out wrong) and cure their various and often wacky diseases, you’ll want to research new technologies and upgrades to improve your doctors’ diagnostic and treatment skills.
Any research completed will stick with you, even if you restart the level or return to a previous hospital. You should also complete research projects that generate Kudosh! You can have multiple research rooms with staff working towards the same goals, or you can have a single room with multiple researchers knocking out the same upgrade.
Micromanage your staff
As if all of the patients wandering around your hospital actively dying weren’t enough of a problem, you’ll also need to keep an eye on your staff to make sure they’re doing their jobs. You’ll have to juggle the needs and skills of four different categories of employees: Assistants, Doctors, Janitors, and Nurses. Keep an eye on your hospital’s status and queues to determine if and when you need to hire more staff.
Set staff assignments
You’d like to believe you can trust your staff to do what’s right. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case. You can keep your staff focused by setting specific job assignments in the Job Assignment menu. This will ensure they keep working in the rooms that need them the most, and don’t wander off to some other room, leaving patients hanging.
Keep your staff where you need them
In addition to ensuring that your staff have proper assignments, you’ll also want to minimize their downtime by keeping them where you need them. You can keep your staff members from aimlessly wandering around your hospital by placing chairs inside their assigned rooms.
Improve your staff’s skill set
You can improve your staff’s performance by training new skills, allowing them to perform better at their assigned tasks. Each staff member can have up to five skills, including qualifications such as Customer Service, Psychiatry, Research, and more. In order to train new staff, you’ll need to construct a Training Room then pick a trainer and trainees. If you don’t have staff members available to train others, you can opt to hire an outside trainer, but it’ll cost you.
Earn Kudosh and cash by completing challenges and Career Goals
There are two different types of currency in Two Point Hospital: Cash and Kudosh. Obviously, you’re going to want a good bit of both if you want to keep running a successful hospital!
What is cash used for?
You’ll need to use cash to research new technologies and treatments, train staff, pay their salaries, run marketing campaigns, purchase new items and machinery, and pretty much everything else imaginable. Healthcare ain’t cheap, and you’ll want to make sure to you’re generating the positive cash flow needed to keep everyone paid, healthy, and happy.
How to earn cash in Two Point Hospital
You’ll earn cash as you progress through Two Point Hospital by performing the necessary medical tasks your patients require. You can increase prices for diagnosis, treatment and other procedures to boost your income, but this can sour your patients, you monster. If your rates are too high, existing patients simply won’t pay, and less patients will be attracted to your hospital.
If you’re running low on cash, you can always take out loans when needed. Obviously, these loans will need to be repaid, but the rates aren’t too bad (again, this is just a video game). Once you’ve paid off a loan you can immediately take out another.
What is Kudosh used for?
Kudosh, also known as “K” and “K points,” is used for unlocking items and upgrades for your hospitals. Any upgrades unlocked will remain unlocked globally across all hospitals in your save.
How to earn Kudosh in Two Point Hospital
Kudosh is generally earned through your performance in-game. You’ll receive Kudosh rewards for successfully completing levels, increasing your hospital’s star rating and passing inspections, completing staff requests, and meeting Career Goals. You can even complete medical Research projects specifically to net a Kudosh reward from your peers.
Career Goals are, basically, Two Point Hospital’s version of achievements, and criteria can be met across multiple hospitals as you progress through the game. Example Career Goals include: Promote 500 Staff, Cure 100 Patients, Capture 100 Ghosts. You can check out the Career Goals, and your progress towards meeting them, by clicking the “Career” tab.
Keep your hospital clear of monobeasts, ghosts, and other unpleasantries
Any good hospital will be well-known for its clean and sterile environment, and it’s what patients and inspectors will expect when checking in. Therefore, you certainly don’t want your hospital hallways littered with trash, ghosts, and escaped unibrows (seriously).
How to get rid of ghosts in Two Point Hospital
Unfortunately, you can’t save them all, and early on you might have to face the unpleasant reality of having a patient die on you. You won’t have to be responsible of disposing of the body, but you’ll likely have to deal with a pretty angry specter in its place.
To deal with these mementos of your hospital’s shortcomings, you’ll want to make sure to have at least one staff member, preferably a Janitor, trained in the Ghost Catching skill. As a result, your hospital’s resident Ghostbuster will be able to take care of any Ghosts it finds haunting the halls.
How to kill monobeasts in Two Point Hospital
Monobeasts are the escaped eyebrows of patients afflicted with Monobrow. They can be fast and can be hard to click. Therefore, you’ll want to set the game’s speed to a slower pace and spam click the fast little buggers until they’re ultimately defeated.
Monobeasts generally only spawn in unhygienic hospitals, in which cases they are typically found scooting down your halls and lurking underneath your fixtures. It may be helpful to occasionally check underneath placed items such as vending machines, by picking it up and moving it, to make sure you’re not infested.
Remember, good hygiene is important
A clean hospital is a happy hospital. Make sure you’re providing an adequate quantity of hygiene improving items, like toilets, wash basins, hand sanitizers, to keep people from stinking up the place. Additionally, ensure that your Janitors are properly assigned to regularly stay on top of waste management and general cleaning tasks. Don’t forget the trash cans!