There is nothing more infuriating, more screen punching, more controller smashing than a broken video game. You’ve spent weeks, months, sometimes even years, waiting for the latest installment in your favorite franchise or a brand new IP and, having forked over the requisite cash for it, you fire it up and discover that it’s got more bugs in it than an ant-farm. It’s enough to make you cry, and it happens far too much, even in this day and age.
The problem here is that gaming companies seem to think it’s acceptable to release a product that doesn’t work as they can always drop a massive patch on day one. This has seemingly become standard practice, and you can rarely install a game and not have to sit around twiddling your thumbs until another 2gb is downloaded onto your console or PC.
This is totally out of order. Games aren’t cheap, and it’s not unreasonable for us to think that the item we’ve, bought is going to work straight out of the box or the digital store. Yet we seem to accept it and carry on even though we’re getting ripped off left, right, and center.
What’s even worse than all this, though, is when a game comes out, and no matter what the company responsible for it does, the darn thing never really works. No amount of updates can fix it, and you’re left with a $60/£50 hole in your wallet and the taste of bitter regret in your mouth. What follows is a look at literally unplayable games. Herein lays the fuel of nightmares.
The 10 Buggiest Games On Release
It may seem a tad harsh to say that FIFA 20 was unplayable on release, but let’s look at the facts here. EA had promised that they’d spent a lot of time on making career mode a worthwhile venture this year, and even though there were a lot of new shiny things to distract you while you played it, God help you if a team from the Rest Of The World section won either the UEFA Cup or the Champions League. If this happened, then the following season would see the relevant competition missing from your game. It turned out that the game couldn’t get its electronic brain around the fact that a team that wasn’t in one of the leagues would emerge as the winner, and so, it just gave up on the competition altogether. It wasn’t like this was the only problem either. Another career mode fault would see the top teams field weak teams, consisting mainly of youth players, in important fixtures as the who new dynamic potential gimmick broke the logic of the game. Elsewhere you’d find yourself getting kicked from servers in FUT as well as a list of glitches that would mean you’d have to log out of a match midway through if it froze a player in Squad Battles. This would be seen as you rage quitting, so when you logged back in, you’d find that you’d gotten a 3-0 loss against your name as FIFA 20 considered you to be a bad sport. So yeah, FIFA 20 was pretty damn broken on release, and even though it’s had a couple of patches now, it’s far from perfect.
You may be wondering just how broken WWE 2K20 is, and the answer to that is that it’s so broken that Sony is offering refunds on the game without any questions. There are so many things wrong with WWE 2K20 that it would be impossible to list them all here; after all, I’d like to get on with the rest of my life at some point, but here are just a few examples.
- Never-ending loading screens
- Impossible to use CAW’s in-game
- Universe divisions failing to save on Xbox
- The career accelerator locking the game into demo mode with only 6 playable characters
- Double count outs crashing the game.
I could go on, but the list is endless, with players discovering new ways for WWE 2K20 to disappoint them every time they boot it up. The worst part is that 2K must’ve known about all of these problems before they released the thing into the wild, but it’s still going to take another two weeks before they can get a patch together to sort out all the problems. So basically, what they’ve done is charged you, the consumer, the full price to Beta test their product for them.
For shame 2K, for shame.
Ashes Cricket 2013
Developed by Trickstar Games and published by 505, Ashes Cricket 2013 was so bad that it was pulled from sale just four days after its release. Probably, buried in the Nevada desert, right next to the last copies of E.T. It is rightly considered one of the worst games of all time and caused 505 to lay the blame firmly at Trickstar Games doorstep. It had teleporting fielders, disappearing balls, frozen batsmen, and players falling over like they’d spent the morning on the whiskey. It also didn’t help that it looked like it had been smashed upside the head with the ugly stick after falling out of the ugly tree. Trickstar Games went out of business in 2015, and there’s no, doubt in my mind that Ashes Cricket 2013 played a huge part in that happening.
Batman: Arkham Knight
Even though the console version had the occasional glitch on day one, it wasn’t anything to write home about and certainly didn’t make the whole game unplayable, though it could pull you out of the total immersion when Batman fell through the map. The reason that it’s on this list, however, is because when it made its debut on PC, it was so bad, so very bad, that it was eventually pulled from sale as Warner’s and Rocksteady Games scrambled to fix it. The main crime here was the fact that, in extreme circumstances, the game ran at 10 fps, and this caused a meltdown among the PC Master Race. Even when it was “fixed,” players would still find characters stuck in walls or discover that what they’d just told Batman to do had zero chance of happening as the controller settings were nerfed. It was a nice change for console players, however, as they got to celebrate for a change.
Aliens: Colonial Marines
Aliens: Colonial Marines is what happens when companies can’t seem to agree on just what type of game they want to put out. You get one side craving a shoot-em-up and another desperate for a scare-em-up, and the finished product turns out to be nothing more than a big-pile-of-crap-em-up. There is a lot wrong with Aliens: Colonial Marines from its ridiculous clipping rate to characters appearing and disappearing like a cheap magic trick but the worst offender of all is the Xenomorph’s AI. Here is one of the most intelligent creatures ever created reduced to Trump’s voter levels of stupidity. Where once it was a genius with exceptional stealth, it now can’t see you even if you’re standing directly in front of it wearing a neon jacket, and it’s silent. Still, the deadly aura has been replaced by something akin to a marching band with amplifiers.
Nearly every game Bethesda releases is broken, so I could’ve put any one of them on here, and believe me, I almost went for Fallout 4. However, considering that they’re now offering you the chance to give them an extra $99 a year for the privilege of playing this broken monstrosity, Fallout 76 is the one I’ve chosen. From the outset, it was plagued with bugs and glitches that made it almost impossible to do anything. This would mean that certain quests couldn’t be completed, that you’d get stuck inside any power armor you happened to find, or you would find that you couldn’t even press X to talk to NCP’s meaning that you genuinely wouldn’t be able to go any further. And the less said about the tote bags in the super expensive edition, the better.
Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 5
I loved the old Tony Hawk games. There was something about grinding and kick flipping my way around a series of venues while Motorhead’s “Ace Of Spades” blared out that just gave me a warm, fuzzy feeling inside, so you can imagine my joy when Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 5 was announced. If you’ve ever had any experience of the finished game, you can also imagine my abject horror at what Robomodo and Disruptive Games had done to my fondest memories and why I feel no sorrow towards the former of these bastard’s going out of business.
I think that it’s safe to say that if your game demands a constant online connection for you to be able to play it, then if you have said connection, you should be able to play the bloody thing. EA screwed the pooch when the released SimCity in 2013 by making such demands of the consumer, only for its servers to be inaccessible and, therefore, making the $60 game you’d just bought nothing more than a very expensive drinks coaster. Good work there, EA.
And as I continue to stick the boot to EA, let’s discuss Battlefield 4, shall we? When one of your biggest selling points to a game is it’s multiplayer, then you’d think that the company responsible for making it work would, y’know, make it work. Yet DICE and EA both dropped the ball horrendously when it came to Battlefield 4. Not only did the bugs and glitches involved in the game causes that abomination that proceeds this entry to happen far to often, but the servers were, quite frankly, shit. If you could manage to get onto a map, there was an excellent chance you wouldn’t be on there long as the game kicked you off for no reason. If you did stay on a stable enough one, then there was a good chance that when you eventually died, you’d be respawned on top of a grenade or a mine or right in front of someone else’s huge assault rifle. Yay, EA!
Assassin’s Creed: Unity
The game that murdered a franchise and caused many sleepless nights due to its nightmarish glitches. I’ll leave this here, enjoy your Halloween.