It rarely snows in Los Santos but when it does you’ll need something expensive to keep your head warm.
You’ve got the tops, you’ve got the bottoms, you’ve just finished getting all those beautiful shoes, could there possibly be anything left? Of course dear reader, you’re going to need something to keep your head warm during those torrential downpours and random snow storms that Los Santos seems to suffer from and what better way than to waste a ton of cash on random headgear.
In the fourth part of our guide to the most expensive items of clothing that you can buy in GTA Online, it’s time for hats to make an appearance and some of these are going to cost you so much that you might have to sell a kidney or two to be able to afford them.
The Most Expensive Headgear In Grand Theft Auto Online
Bandanas: Black Tied
Cost: $5,915
Show the world how gangsta you are with the black tied bandana. Pretend that it doesn’t look like a beanie at all and that you weren’t an utter idiot for forking out $5,915 for what is essentially a piece of dyed cloth as you attempt to hold your gun sideways and pop a cap in some mutha’s ass. Peace.
Beanies: Splinter
Cost: $2,760
And on the subject of beanies. Grab yourself the Splinter one if you want something to go along with all the other expensive camouflage items that this company seem to specialize in. It’ll help protect your head from any random mountain lion attack by making it invisible. DISCLAIMER: That’s a total lie, a mountain lion will eat you if it sees you.
Berets: Black Garrison
Cost: $9,215
If, like a certain writer here, you thought that berets were the things that stereotypical French people or Captain Sensible from The Damned wore on their heads then prepare to be educated. This very stylish military version is undeniably cool, and though it doesn’t go with anything else you may have in your wardrobe, it’s worth having to show off with.
Caps: Green And Red Peaked
Cost: $12,940
Where the previous entry on this guide was cool and stylish due to the understated nature of its overall look, this thing is just as garish as all hell. How or why you’d ever wear something like this out in public is beyond me, that is unless you were a marching band leader or the dictator of some small country somewhere. Not one for the subtle players among us.
Ear Defenders: White
Cost: $90
Have you ever walked past a building site and seen a guy using a massive jackhammer, looked at his ear defenders and thought to yourself, “Yup, I’d love me a pair of those.” Well if you have them maybe a future in construction is the way forward for you, but if you can’t wait that long to find your dream job, then you can grab a pair of white ear defenders for the low, low price of just $50.
Fedoras: Mustard Suit
Cost: $5,360
Fedoras are no longer just for neckbeards who say “M’lady” far too much or for hipsters that show up at perfectly decent parties with a guitar and proceed to ruin everyone else’s fun with terrible renditions of Beatles songs. They’re safe enough for you to wear in real life or in-game without worrying too much about getting rotten fruit thrown at you. The mustard suit fedora goes with the other items you can buy to give you the full, proper, gangster look.
Hats: Splinter Flight
Cost: $9,460
Well, yes, I suppose Rockstar can get away with calling this a hat, it is their game after all, but to me, that screams flight cap but what do I know. Also, as it costs $9,460 I’d want it to do something a little bit more than make my avatar look like he’s wearing the kind of helmet that they give to kids who bang their heads against walls repeatedly.
Helmets: Black And Red Quad Lens
Cost: $100,000
Holy Christ on a bike, will you look at that thing!!! It’s like staring at an eclipse; you know you shouldn’t because at some point your eyes are going to get boiled in your skull, but you can’t tear your gaze away. And it’s $100,000. $100,000!!! You could buy 200,000 pairs of flip-flops for that price. Actually, yeah, buy the helmet instead.
Trilbies: Black
Cost: $5,840
I’ve owned a few trilbies over the years. It’s not something I’m proud of, I was going through a ska phase, but none of them ever cost me $5,840. If they had, I would’ve automatically had my self admitted to the nearest Mental Institution, especially as I would swear that he’s wearing a pork-pie hat on his head. Well, if you will shop at a Discount Store, then you get what you’re given.
