You can be just about anything in BitLife. A doctor that saves lives? Check. Being a famous singer? Has that, too. You can even try your hand at directing and writing adult films. Most games want you to be the best in a particular field, and BitLife certainly rewards that. But how often does game reward players with a ribbon for being stupid?
In BitLife, ribbons are earned at the end of every full life. Whatever you accomplished in life is cemented into one word—e.g., a ribbon. There’s one in particular that can be quite difficult to achieve: the Stupid ribbon.
Being stupid is one part genetic, one part happenstance, and one part luck. Start with a Bitizen that’s born stupid; the lower, the better. It isn’t required, but it does make maintaining your ignorance that much easier. And it needs to stay below 10 percent.
Throughout life, opportunities will come knocking. It’s your job to react to these events as any stupid person would. You need to be on Leonardo DiCaprio’s level when it comes to method acting. If an animal approaches you and you have the option to pet it, do it! Is a lover asking you to wear a condom? Make it a point not to. When your friend asks you to ditch class, take up their offer.
Speaking of class, you are too cool for school. That means dropping out when you get the chance. It leaves you with very little opportunity in the job department, but who needs that? You don’t. Be a couch potato, a waste of space and air. Drop out by selecting the “School” menu. Pick your school and choose “Drop Out.” Depending on your age, which varies from country to country, your parents can and will stop you sometimes. Try every year until they give in.
Above all else, avoid violence. You aren’t trying to get into fights or commit a crime. Argue with people, but don’t throw punches. Your crime is being stupid, not evil. Robbing someone once and getting caught, then dying down the road, is a surefire way of overriding the Stupid ribbon. The trick is to imagine what a smart person would do and do the exact opposite. When your tombstone has “Stupid” etched on it, the world will know you did it a favor.
